Working on where in my body the memory is. Often in my throat or my diaphragm. Physically my throat and mouth go dry. i walk in circles and sometimes bang my head on a wall. I am ashamed of this and then it frightens me because this is where people start to leave. Then I'm in survival mode . Very isolated and alone now. The perennial loner. Ideation butt no guts to follow through. So I wander like a nomad in this "life" of shatered dreams and love lost.
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